However last night I felt sad, really really sad, It may be down to the fact that I was bored ! It may be down to the fact that my flatmates boyfriend has been over 5 nights in a row and therefor stealing her from me so I feel extra alone, whilst I'm chilling on my sofa listenning to old school tunes inbetween trash TV !( Bridget Jones eat your heart out ! )
But last night I felt for sure that I was the only single person in the city ! I tricked myself into thinking I was really missing my ex, when if I'm truly honest I'm not even too sure I was ! But I felt completely alone and miserable !
I unblocked his number, saw when he was last online on whats app and realized that he must have seen and read my last message to him and made no effort to contact me, blocked him again ! Picked a fight with a friend, ranted too another friend about my broken heart, tried and failed to sort out a booty call, said previous booty call is now in relationship ( sad times ) Stalked the hell out of my ex's twitter page, had a little cry and then layed awake in bed for several hours desperately wanting to fall asleep yet of course my mind kept torturing me.
One of my closest friends who I was ranting too last night reminded me that it's okay to not be okay right now, it's just been like a month and a half, it's still so soon after the break up and I need to allow myself time to heal, Sometimes you really just need to listen to your friends and let them be there and care for you.
I had plans to see my friend tonight who I haven't seen her in a long while, As I seem to of been punishing her for not rushing to my aid during the breakup, selfish right ? She has her own life to lead and has recently got into a relationship herself, I don't blame her for not wanting to rush and see her sniffling mess of a best friend right now ! .... Yet I have been punishing her regardless and put off seeing her and often ignored her messages. Which I feel awful about, but for some reason, and I genuinely don't know that reason, I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. Humans are weird !!
But we had plans to meet tonight and I was excited too see her, Yet I woke up just as grumpy and miserable as I felt last night ! ( where's that sympathy violin ? ) So naturally I tried putting her off and tried rescheduling. Great I thought, Now I'm free to sit and wallow in my own self pity, Yay ! Who am I ? The grinch ?
So I decided to ( metaphorically of course ) slap myself in the face, dust myself off, pick myself up and to be blunt stop being totally stupid ! So after grovelling to my friend about how stupid I have been, we are now going to the cinema tonight to watch this new film ' Vacation ' It's meant to be pretty hilarious with reviews saying they were laughing all the way through, so fingers crossed that the film combined with one of my best friends will be just what I need ! :)
If you are going through something and you feel really low, let your friends be there for you, let your friends take you out, and be grown up enough to realise that people can't hold your hand your whole life and that even your closest friends have their own life too, it doesn't mean they don't care for you.
Please take this advice as you saw in my previous post, you know how important friendships are too me.
Stay smiling and be strong ! :)
But we had plans to meet tonight and I was excited too see her, Yet I woke up just as grumpy and miserable as I felt last night ! ( where's that sympathy violin ? ) So naturally I tried putting her off and tried rescheduling. Great I thought, Now I'm free to sit and wallow in my own self pity, Yay ! Who am I ? The grinch ?
So I decided to ( metaphorically of course ) slap myself in the face, dust myself off, pick myself up and to be blunt stop being totally stupid ! So after grovelling to my friend about how stupid I have been, we are now going to the cinema tonight to watch this new film ' Vacation ' It's meant to be pretty hilarious with reviews saying they were laughing all the way through, so fingers crossed that the film combined with one of my best friends will be just what I need ! :)
If you are going through something and you feel really low, let your friends be there for you, let your friends take you out, and be grown up enough to realise that people can't hold your hand your whole life and that even your closest friends have their own life too, it doesn't mean they don't care for you.
Please take this advice as you saw in my previous post, you know how important friendships are too me.
Stay smiling and be strong ! :)
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